The Psychology of YouWITH DR. RAMI NADER

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF YOU

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With Dr. Rami Nader

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From the archive

Page 11 of 15 · 23 videos

September 1, 2022

Why We Downplay SUCCESS & Blow Up FAILURE

Why does it feel like everyone else is doing better than you, even when that’s not objectively true? This video explores the cognitive distortion known as magnification and minimization, a thinking trap that plays a significant role in anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. People experiencing this distortion often exaggerate their own failures while minimizing their successes, and at the same time, they inflate others’ achievements while dismissing their mistakes. The result is a distorted and punishing internal narrative that keeps you feeling inferior. We’ll break down how this pattern develops, what reinforces it, and most importantly, what you can do to stop it. From unrealistic personal standards to the influence of social media comparison, we examine the psychological mechanics that feed this distortion. We’ll also introduce CBT-based strategies that can help you start using the same standards for yourself that you’d apply to anyone else you care about.…

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August 25, 2022

PTSD vs. Complex PTSD: What are the DIFFERENCES?

PTSD and Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) may sound similar, but their differences can have a profound impact on how people understand and treat trauma. In this video, we explore what post-traumatic stress disorder and complex post-traumatic stress disorder have in common and what sets them apart. PTSD is often associated with single-event trauma like accidents or assaults, while complex PTSD is linked to repeated, long-term trauma such as childhood abuse or domestic violence. One key difference lies in the type of trauma and how it affects interpersonal relationships, emotional regulation, and a person’s core sense of self. This video covers the symptom clusters of PTSD, such as re-experiencing, avoidance, mood changes, and hyperarousal. It also explains how complex PTSD includes additional challenges, like persistent shame, damaged self-identity, and difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.…

Read a related guideTrauma & PTSD

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August 18, 2022

How You’re Making Anxiety WORSE Without Knowing It

Many people struggling with anxiety unknowingly engage in behaviors that actually keep their anxiety going. These are called safety behaviors, things we do to feel safer in the moment, even if they don’t reduce real danger. Whether it’s avoiding eye contact in social situations, researching symptoms obsessively when we’re anxious about health, or always carrying a bottle of water during panic attacks, these habits create the illusion of control. But in reality, safety behaviors reinforce the idea that the world is unsafe and that anxiety is necessary for survival. In this video, we explore how safety behaviors are subtle forms of avoidance that fuel anxiety over time. You’ll learn how this concept applies across different anxiety disorders including panic disorder, social anxiety, health anxiety, and generalized anxiety disorder. Using cognitive behavioral therapy principles and a metaphor involving a magical alien-repelling rock, we unpack why behaviors that seem helpful may be making you more anxious and what to do instead.…

Read a related guideAnxiety

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August 11, 2022

Stressed Out? These Habits Might Be Making It Worse

Stress is something we all face, but often don’t fully understand. From overwhelming deadlines to navigating relationships or even planning joyful events like vacations or holidays, stress can show up in unexpected ways. Many people overlook the early signs of stress, not realizing how it gradually builds up and starts to affect mental health, sleep, appetite, and even physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues. In this video, we dive into what causes stress, how daily stressors compound over time, and what happens to the body and brain under stress. We also look at effective, evidence-based stress management techniques including assertiveness, problem-solving, and relaxation strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, and building back meaningful activities into your life. You’ll also learn about the difference between removing stressors and learning to cope with those you can’t eliminate, along with why prioritizing sleep, healthy eating, exercise, and relationships is key to building resilience.…

Read a related guideStress & burnout

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August 4, 2022

LABELLING: A Cognitive Distortion That Fuels Depression & Anxiety

Labeling is one of the most damaging cognitive distortions people engage in, especially when dealing with depression and anxiety. Instead of recognizing that mistakes or challenges are temporary or situational, labeling turns them into fixed personal flaws. Thoughts like “I’m a failure” or “I’m a terrible person” take a single event and transform it into a permanent identity. This distorted thinking doesn’t just make you feel worse in the moment, it also blocks personal growth and makes emotional recovery harder. Many people use labeling without even realizing it. Whether you’re calling yourself an idiot for making a mistake or deciding someone else is “just selfish,” labeling oversimplifies complex behavior and leads to deeper emotional pain. It can also strain relationships and create resentment when directed at others. The truth is, labeling makes solvable problems feel permanent and unsolvable. That’s why it’s so important to recognize this distortion and replace it with more accurate, compassionate thinking.…

Read a related guideDepression Anxiety

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July 28, 2022

Are You Sending the Wrong Message Without Realizing It?

Social anxiety often feels like something happening to you, but the reality is more complicated. Whether you realize it or not, your behavior in social situations is constantly sending messages to others. This video of interpersonal signals reveals how small actions like avoiding eye contact, staying quiet, or smiling too much can lead others to misinterpret your intentions. These interpersonal messages create a feedback loop that may cause others to act withdrawn or disengaged, exactly what someone with social anxiety fears most. By better understanding these patterns, you can start to take control of your social anxiety in a new way. This video explores how interpersonal behavior sends messages, how those messages pull for specific reactions, and how these reactions reinforce anxious expectations. If you've ever wondered why people seem distant or uninterested in social settings, this may offer clarity. You’ll learn why avoiding eye contact might communicate indifference, or why nervous overcompensation may come across as forced or disingenuous.…

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July 21, 2022

Practical Tools to Manage & Control Your ANGER

Anger is a natural and even helpful emotion, but it becomes a problem when it leads to outbursts, damaged relationships, or regret. Learning how to manage anger is not about never feeling it; it's about understanding where it comes from and how to respond constructively. This video breaks down practical anger management techniques, including how to identify common triggers, recognize early warning signs like muscle tension and racing thoughts, and use proven behavioral tools to prevent escalation. You'll learn how simple strategies like stepping away, distracting yourself, and using relaxation techniques like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation can change how anger impacts your life. There’s also a strong focus on cognitive restructuring, helping you challenge anger-provoking thoughts and reinterpret stressful situations in more balanced ways. Empathy and assertiveness also play a key role in de-escalating conflict and communicating clearly under pressure.…

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July 14, 2022

When is Worry PROBLEMATIC? GAD Worry vs “Normal” Worry

Excessive worry can feel overwhelming, but how do you know when it's just normal stress and when it's something more serious like generalized anxiety disorder? Many people struggle with constant worry, but GAD is a specific condition that involves persistent, difficult-to-control thoughts that often spiral into anxiety and physical symptoms. In this video, we look at the clinical differences between generalized anxiety disorder and typical worry, including how worry in GAD tends to be excessive, sticky, and spread across multiple areas of life; from work and health to relationships and even day-to-day tasks like being on time. We'll look at the most common symptoms of GAD, such as restlessness, muscle tension, difficulty sleeping, and constant intrusive thoughts, and explain how GAD worry patterns often differ from those seen in other conditions like social anxiety or panic disorder. You'll also learn about the chronic nature of generalized anxiety, why it’s often misinterpreted as a personality trait, and why many people with this condition don’t seek help.…

Read a related guideWorry & uncertainty

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July 7, 2022

Why One Bad Day FEELS Like the End of the World (& How to Stop It)

If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “I always mess things up” or “nothing ever goes right for me,” you may be caught in the thinking trap of overgeneralization. This common cognitive distortion plays a major role in maintaining anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Overgeneralization happens when we take one negative experience and assume it will happen again and again, creating patterns that don’t actually exist. It’s a mental shortcut that might feel helpful in preparing us for danger, but often it just keeps us stuck in fear, frustration, and hopelessness. In this video, we explore how overgeneralization can distort our view of ourselves and the world around us, fueling negative self-talk and avoiding meaningful opportunities. Whether you struggle with social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, or depressive thinking, recognizing this distortion can be a critical step toward better mental health.…

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June 30, 2022

HEALTH ANXIETY: When You Can’t STOP Worrying About Your Health

Health anxiety, also known as hypochondriasis or illness anxiety disorder, is more than just excessive worrying. It’s a chronic and distressing condition marked by a persistent fear of having or developing a serious medical illness, even when no significant symptoms are present. Many people with health anxiety spend countless hours researching symptoms online, seeking reassurance from doctors, and performing repeated body checks. These behaviors often worsen the anxiety, reinforcing a cycle of fear and compulsive checking. One of the core features of health anxiety is that the distress isn’t about the actual physical sensations but about what those sensations might mean. Mild symptoms like headaches or muscle tension are interpreted catastrophically, leading to a belief that something serious has been missed. Even negative test results or medical reassurance usually provide only short-term relief. Over time, the worry starts to affect work, relationships, and quality of life.…

Read a related guideHealth anxiety Worry & uncertainty

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June 23, 2022

Why Feeling Sad ISN'T the Same as Being Depressed

People often confuse depression with sadness, but these two emotional experiences are very different; both in how they feel and how they impact daily life. Understanding the difference between sadness and depression is essential for identifying when you or someone you care about might need support. While sadness is a temporary emotional reaction to disappointment or loss, depression is a clinical condition that affects many aspects of a person’s functioning. In this video, we discuss how depression goes far beyond simply feeling sad. Depression involves a set of diagnostic symptoms like persistent low mood, loss of interest, changes in sleep or appetite, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and even thoughts of death or suicide. One key takeaway is that sadness is normal and healthy; it motivates us to seek connection and comfort. Depression, on the other hand, is persistent, impairing, and can affect someone even when things in their life appear to be going well.…

Read a related guideDepression

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June 16, 2022

The 3 Different TYPES of WORRY

Worry can take over our minds before we even realize it, but not all worry is created equal. Learning how to tell the difference between types of worry is key to managing anxiety and stopping the cycle of overthinking. There are three main types of worry that show up in our daily lives. The first is Type 1 worry, which focuses on current, real-life problems. These are worries about things actually happening in the moment, like an unpaid bill or a looming deadline. The second is Type 2 worry, which is all about imagined future problems. These are the “what if” thoughts that spiral into worst-case scenarios. Finally, there’s the mixed or complex worry, where a real problem snowballs into imagined disasters. Knowing which type of worry you’re dealing with can completely change how you manage it. Problem-solving is a powerful tool for Type 1 worries, but it doesn’t work for Type 2 worries because those problems don’t exist yet. Trying to fix something that hasn’t happened is like chasing shadows.…

Read a related guideWorry & uncertainty

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June 9, 2022

How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help YOU Control Anxiety

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is one of the most effective approaches to managing anxiety and anxiety disorders. From phobias and social anxiety to OCD, PTSD, and generalized anxiety disorder, CBT offers a structured and proven method for understanding and reducing anxious symptoms. What makes CBT so powerful is its focus on the relationship between your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. While you can’t directly control your feelings of anxiety, you can learn to change the behaviors and thoughts that keep it going. This video of CBT for anxiety explores how the therapy works, using real-life examples like avoiding a presentation or overpreparing due to fear of failure. These patterns of thinking and avoidance reinforce anxiety over time. CBT helps break this cycle by encouraging people to face feared situations and rethink the catastrophic predictions that fuel their fear. The triangle model of CBT, thoughts, behavior, and emotions, offers a clear roadmap for how anxiety builds and how it can be dismantled.…

Read a related guideAnxiety

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June 2, 2022

Are Your Feelings LYING to You? The Trap of Emotional Reasoning

Depression and anxiety can often come with powerful and overwhelming feelings like sadness, fear, and hopelessness. It’s a common experience to believe that the intensity of these negative emotions is proof that they must be true. This thinking pattern is a specific cognitive distortion known as emotional reasoning. It’s the subconscious belief that says, "I feel it, therefore it must be real." This video explores how this happens. For example, you might feel intense guilt and assume you must have done something wrong, or feel inadequate and conclude that you must be worthless as a person. This is a common challenge in mental health because our emotions are based on our interpretations of events, not the events themselves. If our interpretation is skewed, our emotional response won't match reality, leading to problems with anxiety and depression. This can manifest as intense jealousy in a relationship or a deep sense of hopelessness that prevents you from working towards your goals. Learning to challenge your thoughts and recognize that feelings aren't facts is a critical step.…

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May 26, 2022

Relationship MYTHS That Are Making You Miserable

Many people struggling with depression unknowingly carry unhelpful assumptions about relationships, beliefs that quietly drain their energy, reinforce low self-worth, and feed emotional exhaustion. These faulty beliefs often go unchallenged because they masquerade as kindness, loyalty, or humility. But beneath the surface, they can reinforce hopelessness and resentment. Common examples include: thinking you must always please others to be accepted, believing disagreement means you're wrong, or assuming love can change someone who isn’t ready to change themselves. When we operate from these assumptions, relationships lose their balance. One person gives, the other takes. Needs go unspoken. Resentment builds. And over time, emotional burnout sets in. In the long term, these patterns can lead to feelings of helplessness, isolation, and even deeper depression. The belief that “good relationships shouldn’t have conflict” or “I need to do everything people ask of me” sets people up for failure, not because they’re broken, but because the belief is.…

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May 19, 2022

Harmful Perfectionism & Other Beliefs Causing Depression

Many people struggling with depression unknowingly hold faulty assumptions that shape how they view themselves, others, and the world. These beliefs often feel like truth, but they quietly reinforce hopelessness, helplessness, and low mood. Whether it’s the pressure to always perform at your peak, the belief that avoiding problems is easier than facing them, or the idea that happiness depends on everything in life going perfectly, these assumptions can fuel a cycle of emotional exhaustion and depression. In this video of depressive thinking patterns, we look at how everyday beliefs like “I need to be at 100 percent all the time” or “I can’t do it alone” can backfire. While these thoughts might seem logical or even admirable, they often create unrealistic expectations and a fragile sense of self-worth. When life doesn’t match up to these assumptions, people are left feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, or dependent on others for a sense of stability.…

Read a related guideDepression Perfectionism

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May 12, 2022

Lies DEPRESSION Wants You to Believe

Depression often has less to do with what’s happening in your life and more to do with how you interpret it. Many people carry deep, often subconscious beliefs about themselves, others, and the world that quietly reinforce feelings of hopelessness, guilt, and worthlessness. These beliefs, like “I have to be perfect to be worthy” or “If something bad happens, I must have deserved it,” don’t sound rational when said out loud. But they show up in how people behave and how they feel, especially in moments of stress or disappointment. In this video, we explore several faulty beliefs that fuel the depression cycle, including the perfectionist mindset, the belief that life is supposed to be fair, and the assumption that self-worth is tied to how much you do for others. These beliefs don’t just distort how you see yourself, they limit your ability to cope, grow, and feel joy. They lead to burnout, isolation, and a shrinking world where failure feels unacceptable and emotional pain becomes proof of personal flaws.…

Read a related guideDepression

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May 5, 2022

CATASTROPHIZING: What It is & How to Stop Doing It

Catastrophizing is one of the most common and draining cognitive distortions. It happens when your mind takes a minor issue and spins it into the worst possible outcome. A headache becomes a brain tumor. A mistake at work turns into getting fired and never finding a job again. This habit of assuming the worst not only fuels anxiety and panic, it also feeds hopelessness and emotional burnout. This video explores what catastrophizing looks like in daily life and why it’s so emotionally intense. It also explains the two key parts of catastrophizing: first, the belief that the worst will happen, and second, the fear that you won’t be able to cope if it does. That combination drives an emotional reaction that feels overwhelming, even when the actual situation doesn’t call for it. You end up reacting not to what is happening, but to what you imagine might happen. The real danger of catastrophizing is that it keeps you frozen. You feel paralyzed by fear or despair, unable to solve the real problem in front of you because you’re emotionally stuck in a future that hasn’t even occurred.…

Read a related guideWorry & uncertainty

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April 28, 2022

What is COMPLEX Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)?

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is a condition that arises from prolonged or repeated exposure to trauma, especially when the person affected was unable to escape the threat. Unlike standard PTSD, which can follow a single traumatic event, Complex PTSD tends to result from chronic trauma, such as childhood abuse, domestic violence, captivity, or living through war. These experiences not only overwhelm a person’s nervous system but also reshape how they see themselves, others, and the world around them. In Complex PTSD, the symptoms go beyond re-experiencing, avoidance, and hyperarousal. There are deep-rooted shifts in identity, self-worth, emotional regulation, and relationships. Survivors may see themselves as broken, unlovable, or fundamentally different from others. They often struggle to trust people, maintain healthy relationships, or understand what they truly believe or value. Emotional dysregulation is another core feature, leading to explosive anger, numbness, self-harm, or emotional shutdowns that are often misunderstood.…

Read a related guideTrauma & PTSD Stress & burnout

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April 21, 2022

4 Principles to Cope with Life’s DISAPPOINTMENTS

Disappointments are part of life—whether it's losing a job opportunity, missing out on a big event, or dealing with everyday setbacks. But knowing how to cope with disappointment can mean the difference between staying stuck and moving forward. In this breakdown, a Licensed Psychologist shares four research-backed strategies to help you manage emotional setbacks in a healthy and productive way. Drawing from both personal experience (including marathon training derailed by injury) and clinical insight, this talk explores how to validate your emotions, put setbacks into perspective, learn from failure, and spot hidden opportunities for growth. You’ll learn why minimizing your own disappointment by comparing it to others can backfire, how to use the “five-year question” to gain perspective, and how to extract meaningful lessons even when things go wrong. These coping tools can be applied to a wide range of disappointments—from professional losses to personal plans that fall through.…

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April 14, 2022

Jordan Peterson is RIGHT About THIS: Clean Your Room

When you're dealing with depression, everything can feel overwhelming, especially the big-picture problems like career uncertainty, broken relationships, or major life transitions. But what if the path to recovery doesn’t start with solving everything, but with something as small as cleaning your room? This idea, popularized by Jordan Peterson, has notable psychological backing. Depression often causes a cycle of hopelessness and inaction. You see everything wrong, feel unable to fix any of it, and then feel worse because nothing changes. The solution? Start small. Behavioral activation, a well-established therapeutic strategy, emphasizes doing small achievable tasks that build momentum and reinforce a sense of capability. Tasks like brushing your teeth, making your bed, or tidying up your living space may seem insignificant, but they serve as foundational routines. Completing even one of them creates a sense of accomplishment. That accomplishment, no matter how minor, helps interrupt the depression spiral and gives your brain a different narrative: “I can do something.…

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April 7, 2022

You Can’t Predict the FUTURE (But Your Brain Thinks You Can)

Do you find yourself constantly predicting that things will go wrong, before they even happen? That’s not intuition. It’s a cognitive distortion called the fortune teller error, and it’s one of the most common thinking traps that fuels both anxiety and depression. This mental habit convinces you that the worst-case scenario is not only likely, but inevitable. The fortune teller error makes you believe your negative predictions are facts. You might assume you’ll fail an exam, bomb a job interview, or stay alone forever. These beliefs feel certain, even though they’re based on emotion, not evidence. And the more convinced you are that things will go badly, the more likely you are to stop trying, which increases the chances that your prediction actually comes true. This self-fulfilling prophecy becomes a cycle that deepens low mood, reinforces avoidance, and kills motivation. What starts as a thought becomes a belief, and then that belief becomes a barrier to action. Recognizing the fortune teller error is the first step in breaking that cycle.…

Read a related guideThe brain & psychological change

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March 31, 2022

Why Your "Safety Habits" Are Actually Keeping You Anxious

If you struggle with social anxiety, you may be using subtle behaviors to avoid embarrassment or judgment, without even realizing it. These are called safety behaviors, and while they’re meant to reduce anxiety in social settings, they often do the opposite. In this video, we explore what safety behaviors look like, why they reinforce anxiety over time, and how you can gradually start changing them to feel more confident and free in social situations. Whether it’s avoiding eye contact, rehearsing conversations in your head, speaking softly to avoid attention, or even relying on alcohol to get through social events, these behaviors can trick your brain into thinking you’re only okay because of them. Over time, this prevents real learning and reinforces the fear that social situations are dangerous. That cycle keeps anxiety alive. By identifying your unique safety behaviors and using targeted behavioral experiments, what we call “on day/off day” approaches, you can start testing whether these strategies are actually protecting you. Often, they’re not.…

Read a related guideAnxiety

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